the building

 as the foundation was poured over a decade ago , is it still able to build upon ? 

is the land still of worth to live in and or on ? 

its not necessary about the foundation because it was just an interpretation of what i personally felt years after it occurred. and we all agree that life is not nor never will be " perfect " no matter which country we reside in. 

having financial means is definitely a necessity for the life i want to be a part of . you ask me ? what price will i pay for that privilege?

i ask you , what is it you offer me? for me to evaluate the said offer to be able to equate the price if any to myself . 

my senses are off , i have a phone , it broken so dont ask me again about my past because if its my past that you think of then you too shall be there. im not a bitch however , a corner is a place no one wants to be and at this moment im in it . 

if you read this please be educated without a judgement in your interest of me. 

( time is crucial for me , im not ill , just in an emergency situation of neglect, being treated with common decency, and human rights, id contact the un but what good would that do ? just another sanction , another threat from him , or another cyber attack with only fear to talk to . )

NOTE: 

im being sabotaged at every keystroke, my every move and breath are being observed, yes its horrible when they are mean , it's nothing a doctor can do or order .

no , joke . looking for a man to build with no games ti be played unless as you look into my face you explain the rules of engagement, you also hand me a copy of them. you being the man i expect you to do this . not to expect me to make the first move , thats insinuating that change never occurs which is the reason we the single or unhappy are looking or seeking in the first place . predictate logic or set theory . in otherwords you are set in your ways , id encourage break free but how ????

🤞🏻😢,

tina, 

Abuse effects ?

 Affect?

Effects

Does ignorance with an ignorant act of to ignore someone saying “ help” 

Only hurt me ? 

Fuck this and fuck that 

I didn’t tell you to be made to feel shame as though i said “ rape” 

Although you’d probably act on that . 

Althea left and just then the patty wagon pulled up . 

Shaking my iPhone can’t erase the implications you have contested.

How did I lose everything without ever having it . 

Freedom of that thought 

goal update

Micro Phone check 3 revised

It’s a cognitive synapse.

Tribe called quest

Microphone check 

……what is this 

Educate before you medicate

it should come as no surprise to anyone whom knows me prior to 2012
that i self medicated inappropriately. lead me down a path of self destruction.
one day in june 2012 I made a choice to change. I d tell you but you would have to ask me in person. 

I came back for my kids at least to help them , buts that’s just more heart aches that lead to rage in side since 2008 or 9. Thanks dirty heads.

Anyway,

Yes educate before you self medicate ( if the words self medicate was a trigger) you may already know 1. A drug is a drug ( N.A) no mind altering substances. ( A.A) 

Well what if your dr prescribed it ? Mental health medication, cannabis . They said no to cannabis. Said I wasn’t ready to stop my destructive behavior. Although I called them ( feb 2012) for a support system. Which lead me to dr cohen in boulder Colorado. He suggested 2 dispensaries. One for indica ( pain) because at that time I was also on OxyContin . Although hey when you’re on disability I needed $ . 

The other was the farm - ( but they have commercialized and are Not what they were!!!!)

The farm in late winter of 2012 was awesome, behind the locked doors was a hairdress on Thursdays , hand paraffin waxes on Friday, massage therapist on Tuesday. All free . Not to mention an educated staff with lab results on printed sheets for you reference on what several canabinoids are beneficial for. Thc is one of the 68 known . Delta 9 is the component that people seek for pain management. If educated. However the flower it’s lost in 86 degrees. So you could place it in the sunlight at 86 degrees and the medical property is gone. Which is where dabs came around. If you heat it at a fast high temperature you can smoke it. Or you can get this 60,000 $ piece of equipment for co2 infused hash oil . This is what I would use for my needs. The size of a piece of rice on your gum and you’re medicated for 4 hours . It worked perfectly for me , unfortunately not for my friend Sara ( because I told everyone I knew about this including my family dr . And together we came up with a tapered dose of my medicine. Now fast forward to now . I can’t consume cannabis anymore although I am 100% a supporter and will happily talk to anyone who is interested. Yes I know what I need and substitute as applicable depending on my senses. No I do not use moderation for meditation . 

I will say this if everything is good in moderation and there’s a fine love between love and hate then there definitely a fine line between moderation and addiction. When do you know it’s addiction usually someone tells you , so is the problem the persons lack of education and judgement ? Well if you can fine your own line of moderation then the same applies for love and hate. 

Love

dirt (tm n/c 9/2/19)