1. what is love to you the reader? the observer?
love is potentially different to all of us based on what we received or knew to be what we considered love .
so for me why would i try to describe a feeling that changes when it ends. now if it turned ti hate than i question the love in the first place . i did love him but his thoughts on live are different from mine, he can , could and has walked away without a care .
i tried.
now im my head which no one believes is true theres others . the past , the present is down to two .
but it really does not matter, i want someone who is real and in my face not a thought or error.
i tried to be different it is true , i tried ti use alexa and tgst joke perhaps grew .
at the sane time so did a growing tension of time and space that many will be lucky to not know , it takes way more than one person to communicate.
a sender and a receiver
now is it intercepted?
is it received then transcribed. no error ( occasional language error may occur)
if its spoken and heard by someone else who could potentially twist it .
i guess this is alot of assumptions by one person.
i tried. i failed. and the point is it should not hinder my life , nor should it be a joke ti anyone who has found truth in anything i wrote.
unfortunately, no one reads my blogs,and my phone is being monitored, as well as anything with my identity.
wow chick whys that ?
i have no idea
marsh says im nuts
do i cry do i pray or chant
no i tried
i put up sound around anywhere i heard them ,
oh wow did that help ?
yes and no .
is this warranted to do to me
no , not at all
but who can i possibly tell ?
i've tried telling my family, friends
id tell a shrink if my hippa wasn't being violated
months have passed and it's draining,
they now have their hooks in my life , cameras , recording devices and speakers to send an occasional reminder of your name , or banter of a friends home , a family member or someone else close ti the intended person.
at this point the only person in my physical life just walked out of it .
im not sure if i should thank him , if i cry myself to sleep about what my reality has become.
i know that im in a catch 22 that what ever it is that has a grip on me is more than i singularly am.
theres more of you than there is of me .
if it was just one person against me than they must be a dj and hang the dj , hang the dj is all that comes to mind
