to love yourself means ?

1. what is love to you the reader? the observer?

love is potentially different to all of us based on what we received or knew to be what we considered love .

so for me why would i try to describe a feeling that changes when it ends. now if it turned ti hate than i question the love in the first place . i did love him but his thoughts on live are different from mine, he can , could and has walked away without a care . 

i tried. 

now im my head which no one  believes is true theres others . the past , the present is down to two .

but it really does not matter, i want someone who is real and in my face not a thought or error.

i tried to be different it is true , i tried ti use alexa and tgst joke perhaps grew .

at the sane time so did a growing tension of time and space that many will be lucky to not  know , it takes way more than one person to communicate. 

a sender and a receiver 

now is it intercepted?

is it received then transcribed. no error ( occasional language error may occur)

 if its spoken and heard by someone else who could potentially twist it .

i guess this is alot of assumptions by one person. 

i tried. i failed. and the point is it should not hinder my life , nor should it be a joke ti anyone who has found truth in anything i wrote. 

unfortunately, no one reads my blogs,and my phone is being monitored, as well as anything with my identity. 

wow chick whys that ?

i have no idea 

marsh says im nuts 

do i cry do i pray or chant

no i tried 

i put up sound around anywhere i heard them , 

oh wow did that help ?

yes and no .

is this warranted to do to me 

no , not at all 

but who can i possibly tell ? 

i've tried telling my family, friends 

id tell a shrink if my hippa wasn't being violated 

months have passed and it's draining, 

they now have their hooks in my life , cameras , recording devices and speakers to send an occasional reminder of your name , or banter of a friends home , a family member or someone else close ti the intended person. 

at this point the only person in my physical life just walked out of it . 

im not sure if i should thank him , if i cry myself to sleep about what my reality has become. 

i know that im in a catch 22 that what ever it is that has a grip on me is more than i singularly am. 

theres more of you than there is of me . 

if it was just one person against me than they must be a dj and hang the dj , hang the dj is all that comes to mind